I’ve never been in class for so long…

Tadaa! Welcome to Camp CalSO!
cut to the chase
here’s the schedule
start at 8:30

Breakfast, Home Group Meetings, L&S part 1, break, boldfacing, Research, lunch, Engineering, College Writing, Break, Facilitation, Break, Dinner, General Program Overview

hit home at 21:30

yes, that was indeed one day of 13 hours of activites, with by far the majority involving lectures in Barrows… I’ve never been in class for that long! Not that i’m outright complaining, please don’t think that! but it was long. and this is day one of many to come.

Today, day one, mostly involved lots and lots of information. We had an intense session with the College of Letters and Sciences that covered all the unit requirements, major requirements, different types of majors (double, simultaneous, minors, etc etc) breadth requirements, university requirements and campus requirements. yes indeed!

I had to run over to the north side during lunch to get some housing issues sorted out, which is really distracting my full attention from CalSO. This brick wall that just gets in the way, and i’m mostly lost on how t handle it because I’m not sure what I want. Jeez, a big boy like me should make my mind up and get it over with! … did i just call myself a “big boy”? if that was true… hahaha. Yeah, since we’re on a slight tangent from the CalSO schedule, i’ll keep going. I again managed to jump in at the wrong time and make the wrong comment to get me in on the deep end (and i think they’re holding my head down at the moment). Some unnecessary things were said at the wrong moment in time, which obviously left a much-adored fellow CalSO counselor in tears and me shouldering the blame for it. I’m not sure whether I should say its because i don’t try or its because i’m just a hopeless case no matter how I try to not affront people. It’s a good thing they included a sexual harassment section.

OK, let’s get out of the tangles of dorm issues and my lack of (or superior status hehehe) in social skills, and get back to CalSO! I believe we just had lunch in my little retelling.

College of Engineering sent Mr Bob Giomi over, and boy did he give us a good picture of COE advising. slighty funny, slightly boring, slightly weird, slightly unorganized, mostly well-meaning, COE sent the right man to get the feel of the bureocracy in the college. i think i spelt that wrong. it’s late…

We had a quick little session with the College Writing Program, and after a short break, we were back for another intense little presentation… Facilitation with Roseanne! This was by far the hardest part of the day – I volunteered to be a “cofact” for one of the sections, and being put up there with another counselor facing a bunch of your fellow counselors (suddenly transformed into a viscious bunch of crazy parents out to make your life as hard as the possibly possibly possibly can) and trying to fend or at least answer their questions was not easy at all. I was once again very much amused by the kicking in of emotions around the end when it transferred from a role-play to a personal-level experience near the end of the session. I think it points out the sheer arrogance with which I go through a lot of life (notice that I don’t say its necessarily a bad thing). But when the critisizm, constructive or not, comes up later, BOOM, emotions start kicking in, disbelief, anger, resentment, a nice little mix of everything. Funny, when a fellow counselor apologized to me for giving us a hard time up there it really kicked into the emotional part of “come on, dude, this is TRAINING, get real” even though the reason was screaming that out at the top of its itte lungs. Can a person even claim they live by reason above all if they have such bad control over their emotions? It gets harder and harder to separate things out from each other.

Respect, dammit, it was so hit into me that I have no form or concept of it anymore, just this nasty black tar somewhere between my heart and my lungs.

Well, we finally finished the day after dinner with a kickass little (Read big) section on how a general CalSO program works, and a major section of the important parts of each program. Sometimes (especially now) I wonder why I’m doing this again. I read my essay on why, and i understand the ideas of giving back to my community and helping out new students, somewhere I still believe that that does not involve dealing with overbearing parents and resentful kids, but with people that are as pumped to come to Cal as I was. It seems like a series of smal steps down into mediocrity from the mountains of superficial success.

OK, face it, i’m just down right now because this night sure took a nasty turn.

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